EPISODE 7
"The Dark Sailor Returns" A board the S. S. Olive, Popeye materialized from the alternate dimension. The crew's cheers nearly drowned out the Hag's laughter. But suddenly, the figureless laughter came to a halt, almost as if someone were choking the Hag. Then a loud, yet somewhat mousy voice bellowed, "You have failed!"
-OR-
"The Happiest Place on Earth --- NOT!"
-OR-
"If You Hated the Other Chapters, You'll Loathe This One!" Story by Lee Solomon.
Art by Donnie PitchfordPopeye and Wimpy rushed to the Brig to interrogate Bluto. They were shocked to find Bluto pale as a ghost, with such a worried look, it appeared he could pass out at any
second. Bluto was more than willing to tell what he knew, Hag and I are only the pawns. The one you want is the one cold as ice... the one who wants nothing less than universal dominance... the one who is a tyrant who has the image of a wholesome, magical prince... his next target will be... must be... the one whom his organization tried unsuccessfully to wipe out many times before... it is..." Before Bluto could say, he passed out in fear. Wimpy started to shudder, "Could it be... him?" "Naw," said Popeye, "he died centuries ago." "No," corrected Wimpy, "he was frozen cryogenically until a cure for his illness could be found... If he has been thawed out..." Popeye continued, "...then we're dealin' wit' the maddest villain of 'em all... WALD DIZZY!!!"
Popeye quickly aborted the mission and ordered the S. S. Olive back to Earth. Popeye quickly went to I.N.K.W.E.L.L. HQ to verify his theory. Wald Dizzy, indeed, was back in action. C.L.O.W.N.E. then suited Popeye up in a suit of street armor for a showdown. Popeye then jetted to the long ago abandoned EuroDizzy Park, where it was rumored that Wald Dizzy's body was kept. Sure enough, as Popeye exited his craft, waiting for him was Wald Dizzy, alive as could be.
"This madness ends now!" yelled Popeye. "You'll never stop me, sailor," cried Dizzy, "I have powers now, beyond your ken." Dizzy began to rise into the air, his eyes glowing in hate and insanity. Two beams shot from his eyes, knocking Popeye over. "I will have your President, Betty Boop... and I will kill Pope Michael Peter, whom you know as Matey, the orphan boy you raised..."
"Wha's wrong," Popeye said, bouncing to his feet, "those arful TV shows yer network made didn't persuade enough people? Mad cuz dey saw through yer lies?"
Now, Dizzy was furious. "Die, sailor!!" Dizzy flew toward Popeye who socked Dizzy into the Flying Coffee Mug ride. Dizzy got up and lifted a giant rat statue and hit Popeye, like a baseball, which sent him crashing into the Dreamland castle. Dizzy then jumped on top of Popeye and started punching him. Popeye wound up his arm, and gave the twister sock to Wald Dizzy, which send him flying, and in the process, destroyed the castle. But Dizzy was barely dazed. He began lifting up rides and hurling them at Popeye, who smashed each one with a mighty punch... the Jumbo ride... the Upock Center... the Twisted Castle. Suddenly, the echo of a helicopter was heard... It was Koko. C.L.O.W.N.E. had successfully grown spinach in their lab!!
He dropped the spinach out of the copter. Popeye caught it in his mouth and swallowed.
He then lunged at Dizzy, grabbing him by the throat. Wald Dizzy was helpless. Popeye snarled, "I wants ya to remember me hand at yer t'roat... In yer most private moments, I wants ya to remember the smell of me pipe... I don't ever wants ya to ferget... the one man who beat you!!!" And with that Popeye eased up. Wald Dizzy was defeated!!
The helicopter landed and I.N.K.W.E.L.L. agents quickly confined Dizzy. Afterwards, the Global Union disbanded, and the world was a free place once again. President Betty Boop awarded Popeye and Koko with the Highest Honors of Heroship. Olive had little to fear of Popeye and Betty's friendship, as Betty and Koko started a romance of their own. All in all, Betty Boop's statement at the beginning of this adventure rang true... "They couldn't take America's boop-oop-a-doop away!"
ALTERNATE EPISODE 7
The Vegetable Voyage Home"
Story by Chuck Anders.
Art by Donnie Pitchford"Let's get to work and find our captain!" barked Yeoman Olive Oyl. "Wimpy, go to engineering. Find the alternate dimension where Popeye is trapped."
Miss Oyl," said Wimpy. "There must be millions of alternate universes. It could take years."
"Then you'd better hurry before the Star Hag finds us without Popeye aboard."
"Good heavens!" cried Wimpy. "Eugene, let's go!"
He and the Jeep ran for the turbolift. But as the hatchway opened Wimpy stopped suddenly. "POPEYE!!!" he yelled as his commander stepped from the turbolift.
"Blow me down! A fella could get hurt around here!"
"POPEYE!!!" screamed Olive when she heard her sailor's voice. She ran to hug him. Swee'pea was bouncing with glee, tugging on Popeye's pant leg.
"We blew up your shuttle," said Olive. "We thought you were the Star Hag. We thought we'd killed you!"
"Ya almost did. I got yer call about Bluto bein' loose, an' come to rescue ya. Jus' as I got to yer position I saw you fire a torpeder at me so I used this excape devisk Prefessor Wotasnozzle give me and ended up in a parallel dimenshun with all kinds of goofy lookin' swabs. I borrowed a space suit and used the devisk to get back. The next thing I know, I'm back on the S. S. Olive. How long was I gorn?"
"Only a few minutes," said Olive.
"Tha's strange. It seems like hours. Maybe I was dreamin' but it sure seemed real. Now where's Bluto?"
"We defeated him and threw him back in the brig," said Wimpy proudly.
"YOU?" said Popeye. "You beat Bluto?"
"I helped," Wimpy replied defensively.
"It's hard to believe but it's true," said Olive.
"In that case, ya did good, Wimpy. Where's Alice? We has to notify Eart'."
"She's guarding Bluto," said Wimpy. "Besides, the transmitter is broken."
"No radio? Well, we has got to get outta here before the Hag discovers I outsmarted 'er. I told 'er I was bringin' Presidink Boop with me so she'd follow me. Now we has got to lose her quick. Where's me Pappy?"
"He's helping Alice."
"For Pete's sake! How many does it take to watch one swab? I can't run this ship by meself." Popeye pressed his com badge. "Pappy to the bridge. Make it snappy."
"The response was immediate. "Is that you, son? Say, kin we put a gag on this feller? He keeps hollerin' for a lawyer."
"Belay that, Pappy. I needs ya on the bridge."
"I'm on me way, son."
"Swee'pea, set a coursk for the Spinach Planet."
"As the S. S. Olive sped through space over the next few days, the crew returned to a normal routine. Finally, the moment they'd all been waiting for arrived.
"Glopglop. Glop," said the navigator.
"Ya sez we're at the Spinach Planet, Swee'pea? Then look for a good spot to land. We're goin' in."
"Swee'pea didn't have any problem finding a landing site because the entire surface of the planet was like a vast prairie, smooth all the way to the horizon. And every square inch was covered with spinach. The ship landed softly, padded by the thick vegetation.
"Here we are," said Popeye. "Safe an sound, surrounded by me favorite dish. Now how do we contact Eart' to tell 'em we made it?"
"Why not use Eugene?" asked Wimpy.
"Good idea." Popeye touched his com badge. "Ahoy, Eugene. I needs ya." The Jeep appeared immediately. "Eugene, go to Eart'. Tell 'em we're on the Spinach Planet safe an' sound."
"Eugene frowned and shook his head.
"Whadaya mean? Are ya sayin' we ain't safe here?"Eugene bowed to the floor to signal yes. "Yer crazy. We outfoxed the Star Hag an' Bluto's locked up below." Again Eugene shook his head then pointed to a porthole. Popeye looked out as three Cling-on ships de-cloaked and took positions around them.
"My gorsh!" exclaimed Popeye. "We're surrounded! Raise our shields! Red alerk!" He noticed a light flashing on the communications console. "We is bein' hailed. Where's Alice?"
"She's still guarding Bluto," said Olive.
"Take over for her. Wimpy, take the helm. Ever'body sit tight. Open a channel. Le's see what we're dealin' with."
"The viewscreen activated disclosing the Star Hag and her Cling-On lieutenants. "You fool!" she cackled. "You forgot I can follow you while remaining invisible. Surrender yourself and the president or I'll vaporize your ship and everyone on it."
"Popeye turned his back to the screen. "They kin not hear us?"
"They can only see us," said Olive, "but we can see and hear them."
"She don't know the presidink is still on Eart'. Hand me that mickerphone, Olive."
"Olive handed the crushed microphone to Popeye who turned and held it in front of the viewscreen, shrugging his shoulders with a feigned look of despair. The Star Hag hesitated momentarily, giving Popeye time to issue some fast orders to Eugene and Swee'pea. Then she spoke.
"So you can't transmit, eh? I'd know that idiot Bluto's handiwork anywhere. But that doesn't change anything. You can still hear me. Drop your shields. We're coming aboard."
"Popeye sadly nodded assent. "Wimpy, lower our shields. Tha'sa order. Eugene, prepares to transport."
"But Popeye," said Wimpy, "they're transporting themselves. What are we transporting?"
"Jus' some garbage."
"Wimpy dropped the S. S. Olive's shields.
"Steady, Swee'pea," Popeye whispered as he stared into the viewscreen at the Star Hag.The Hag laughed in triumph and gave the order to her crew, "Energize!"
"As soon as Popeye saw the Hag begin to transport he yelled, "SWEE'PEA, NOW!"
"Swee'pea pressed a button and the S. S. Olive shot vertically into the air, causing the Hag and her boarding party to transport to the spot where the ship had been seconds earlier.
"EUGENE, ENERGIZE!" bellowed Popeye. Almost immediately the Hag materialized on the bridge, alone. The rest of her boarding party was left on the planet. The S. S. Olive moved rapidly away until it was clear of the atmosphere. The Hag looked around the bridge first in puzzlement, then in terror as she spotted Eugene.
""NO!" she screamed, "Not a Jeep!"
"Bring up your shields an' get us out of here," ordered Popeye. Wimpy immediately went to warp speed.
"Please, Popeye! It was all a joke! Let's discuss this!" cried the Hag.
"Don't make a wrong move, Haggy," said Popeye. "Eugene, take 'er to the brig an' guard 'er good." The Jeep went behind her and gave a small jolt from his tail. The Hag shrieked and ran for the turbolift. Eugene followed. As the turbolift doors closed you could hear her crying piteously.
"Well, tha's that," said Popeye. "Now that we has captured Haggy and Bluto we kin go back to Eart' an' grow our own spinach." Just then a red mass shot past the ship from behind, rocking it violently.
"Tha's a Cling-on torpedy!" yelled Popeye. "They followed us. Aft shields to maximum! All han's on deck!"
"Wimpy ran to his display console as more torpedoes brushed the ship. "Those battleships are gaining!" Popeye took over the helm and steered the ship in a violent corkscrew pattern through space. He pressed his com badge and called the engine room.
"Geezil! I needs more speed! The Cling-ons is after us!"
"Pooey!" came the reply. "The engines won't take anymore! We should lighten the ship and throw anything useless overboard."
"Tha'sa good idea, Geezil."
"Let's start with the Wimpy boy!" Wimpy ignored the engineer's suggestion. "It would appear the Cling-ons feel they have no further use for the Hag." The torpedo and phaser fire were becoming more accurate as the enemy ships grew closer.
"Wimpy!" called Popeye over the sound of the explosions. "I yam open for suggestions."
"I have one, but it's a long shot," said Wimpy.
"I yam desperake! Le's hear it!"
"On the lead Cling-on ship, the commander was rubbing his hands together and smiling. "At last we can rid ourselves of Popeye AND the Star Hag at the same time. Target their engines."
"Commander," called the helmsman, "their ship is slowing."
"What do you mean?"
"They're hailing us, sir."
"Put it on screen. I've been waiting a long time for this."
"The viewscreen flickered to life. But instead of a one-eyed sailor, the Cling-on Commander was faced with a hairy-armed creature, gesticulating wildly and wagging its finger in furious reproach.
"Great glittering galaxies! A Goon!! Nobody told me there was a Goon on that ship. Cease fire!"
"Alice was throwing her arms about. The Cling-on commander could see he was being chewed out but couldn't hear it. He fell to one knee and held out his arms pleadingly to the viewscreen.
"Oh, cousin Goon, forgive us. We didn't know." Alice stopped gesturing and stood with her hands on her hips, glaring at the Cling-on. He could see her mouth moving but couldn't hear her.
"Let's get out of here!" commanded the Cling-on. "If our emperor learns that we fired on a Goon we'll be hauling Milkbones to the dog star for our next mission."
"Back on the S. S, Olive, Popeye and the crew watched with elation as the three battleships fled.
"Wimpy, yer a genius!" said Popeye. "I didn't know Goons and Cling-ons was relicktives."
"Neither did I," said Wimpy, "but I noticed a resemblance and you said you were desperate."
"Alice remained staring at the blank viewscreen and humming angrily, her hands still on her hips.
"Ya kin stop now, Alice," said Popeye. "They're gorn. Ya did real good." He went to Alice and gave her a hug only to find himself lifted off his feet and smothered with kisses.
"Avast! It's embarraskin! Swee'pea, set a coursk for home. We've got a spinach crop to plant. Warp seven. Engage."
Reprinted with Permission from the Official Popeye Fan Club News Magazine. INTRO
EPISODE 1
EPISODE 2
EPISODE 3
EPISODE 4
EPISODE 5
EPISODE 6
EPISODE 7
