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"The Sailor with the Golden Pipe"
Story by Lee Solomon.
Art by Donnie Pitchford
"I'm sorry sir," answered Rough-House, "but our supplier dumped us." "No wonder I stopped gettin' royalty checks," mumbled Popeye.
Suddenly, a huge explosion rocked the ship. "All hands on deck!!" yelled Popeye as he ran to the bridge. When he got there, he saw Bluto, the Sea Hag, and a dozen Roamalot soldiers invading the ship. Without uttering a word, Popeye was already punching out soldiers as the crew of the S.S. Olive started locking down the instruments into automatic pilot.
Wimpy sat down, mesmerized by the all out battle royal. He grabbed a bowl of popcorn and started eating it. Geezil looked at him in disgust. "I hate you to pieces!!" "There is no valid reason for us to get involved in the fisticuffs," said Wimpy matter of factly.
"Says you!" yelled Geezil as he marched off to help Popeye. Two seconds later, a bruised and battered Geezil shot back against the wall and fell on his back. Wimpy offered him some popcorn. "Oy!!" said Geezil as he passed out. Popeye was just outnumbered. Two soldiers were restraining him as Bluto savored the moment. "At last!!" he said as his cutlass traced Popeye's massive jaw, "now it's time to say goodbye to all our company!"
"Hey!" Popeye said offended, "you always were a traitor, Bluto." Just then the lights grew dim as a figure fluorescently materialized, distracting Bluto, Sea Hag and the soldiers long enough for Popeye to clunk all their heads together like a row of dominoes, knocking them all out. Popeye turned to see who was now aboard his ship. It was Koko! He was holding a large suitcase in one hand and a rusted teleporter in the other. "Doggone! What do you know? It still works!"
"Koko!!" yelled Popeye, as he ran to give his long lost pal a hug, "Wha' happened to ya??" Koko explained all about his exile and how he hoped his old, broken down teleporter had just enough life in it to get him on the S.S. Olive after Wimpy abandoned him. "I oughta flambast you!!" Popeye glared at Wimpy.
"No," said Koko, "this is my revenge!!" Wimpy started to sweat as Koko walked up to him grimly. "What's wrong, Jonesy?' Getting hot?" Suddenly, Koko pulled out a seltzer bottle and sprayed the soda into Wimpy's pants. "This'll cool you off! HA HA HA!!" Koko had his revenge. Geezil, just waking up, saw Wimpy's wet trousers and commented, "you're a pig, Wimpy."
Popeye grabbed the Sea Hag. "O.K., Sea Hag---" She cut him off, "I am not the Sea Hag, one eye!! I am the Star Hag!!" Popeye's eye widened. She corrected herself, "That is, I'm now known as Star Hag---" Popeye looked at Eugene. He nodded and walked up to the Hag and sniffed her. He then turned around, aimed his tail at her and fired a beam of energy that melted away her body revealing Bernard, the Sea Hag's buzzard.
"This wuz a set up... a decoy." Popeye looked up at Bluto, "what's going on Bluto?" Bluto laughed, "you haven't figured it out yet? You can be so dumb! The
Uniarchy of the Global Union controls every country, state, and territory on Earth except for the U.S.A. and the Vatican. The real Sea Hag is on Earth, hours away from assassinating President Boop -- Then she's going after Pope Michael Peter II and then she and the Global Union will control everything!!"
Popeye backhanded Bluto so hard he flew across the ship. "Lock 'em all up in the brig," says Popeye. The crew cut off Bluto and the soldiers as Popeye turned to Olive and Wimpy. "You two are in charge of this mission now. I'm goin' back to Earth to save Betty." "No, Popeye!" said Olive, "You're needed here!" "Betty needs me more," says Popeye. "No!!" demanded Olive.
"Olive," replied Popeye, "this is bigger'n me an' you or me an' her... She is the Presidink of the U.S. of A... The leader of wha's left of the Free World. If ya can'ts unnerstand that... then maybe you should be on Bluto's side." Popeye then leaned over to Wimpy. "An' you... don't ya dare screw up again!"
"Wait Popeye," called out Koko, "you'll need me! I'll go with you!" "Huh?" asked Popeye, who then realized, "oh yeah... tha's right... yer the head of C.L.O.W.N.E. (Corporation of Law and Order Within the Nation and on Earth). You can outfit me wit' yer gizmos."
As Popeye and Koko entered the small shuttle craft to leave for Earth, Bluto chuckled to himself. It is so perfect. Popeye off the ship - Olive is as good as his!.....
Reprinted with Permission from the Official Popeye Fan Club News Magazine.
EPISODE 1
EPISODE 2
EPISODE 3
EPISODE 4
EPISODE 5
EPISODE 6
EPISODE 7
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